More On the Safety of Defenselessness and Insanity of Attack

In follow-up to my previous post...
"Love is where my safety lies."

One of my favorite teachings from
"A Course In Miracles" has been that
without a defense there can be no attack.
Since I have struggled with feeling attacked a lot of my life within my family of origin, learning to apply it has been extremely useful.  This has involved giving myself permission to really realize another great teaching... that attack can only be experienced from within.

When I identify myself with my constant mind chatter - that is constantly measuring and judging - I feel the need to attack myself for being less than, or wrong, in order to feel safe.  Condemning myself, I make myself guilty, and, therefore in need of defense.  I, then, need to experience feeling attacked in order to satisfy my need to defend myself.  It can become a very vicious and painful cycle!

Most of us learn early on that cause equals effect.  Change the cause and you change the effect.  Simple.  There's just one hitch.  What happens when you mix up the cause with the effects?

  Your well intended attempt to create 
 change just requires more  
  and more force in order to control 
 and move around effects 
  that you have mistaken for cause.  

The law of cause and effect doesn't care whether we have mistaken effects for the cause.  Until we correctly identify the cause and change it, we can only remain in this loop, feeling increasingly victimized and powerless - in need of defense, and the need to attack and to be attacked.

The only way to break the cycle is
to recognize the cause - correctly.
Not to perpetuate the blame game
and thereby the problem,
but to recover the solution
which only lies in the cause.

Realizing that every single judgment I make and identify with, and every attack in which I participate, is a form of attack against myself - even when it appears to be about others - has changed my life in every way.

  Recognizing that every judgment 
 and every attack stems from 
 my need to withhold love in some way  
  in order to protect myself and feel safe,  
 that it doesn't 
 and is therefore totally insane,  
  continues to be incredibly liberating.  

Identifying and releasing my need to withhold love at whatever level I am able allows me to access my true power link and let go of all need to attack.  And increasingly the need to defend, for me to be right and for you to be wrong. The more I release the need to withhold love in order to feel safe, I teach myself and experience where my safety lies.

A mantra that helps me to release
my need to withhold love,
especially when I really need you
to be wrong so that I can be right is:
Your judgments are not my problem.
They are your problem.
My judgments are my problem.

  In fact, the more I release  
  my need to withhold love 
 (judgments)  
  the more I allow you 
 to feel safe to release yours.  
   And that's when miracles 
 really start to happen!   


So, can you decide to trust love now?  Or not?
Will you?  What are your deal breakers?
And, what allows you to release your need to withhold love
and decide to trust love now?  Please add your comments!
We can all learn from your challenges, road blocks, and AhHAHS (big and small).

Personally I have learned and grown so much from all those who have so openly and honestly shared their journeys with me no matter how messy or out of control. And so, I thank you in advance for your willingness and your courage for I know from what depths they come.  They are my light-bearers.


Namaste,  Kat


p.s.
For more insight on the ACIM teaching "In my defenselessness my safety lies" (Workbook Lesson 153), check out Workbook Lesson 135 and Lesson 170 from "A Course In Miracles", Foundation For Inner Peace.





Copyright 2014 by Kat Dowling